I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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