There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
