You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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