I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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