After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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