He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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