think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
