i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My bed smells like the plague
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
