we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
