What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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