so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
