I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
