I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
