how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
