Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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