butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
