I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize