You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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