I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
