At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
