be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
