Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
