you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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