Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
