didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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