people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
