the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
