The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize