Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
