If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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