Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
