My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
