So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
