so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my shit smells like andre
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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