How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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