he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
