first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
