Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
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