oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
