I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
