The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
