If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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