actually, I'm a sock model
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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