yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize