Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize