And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
