Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
