I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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