Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
