Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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