I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
