butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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