i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
