I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize