nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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