Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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