My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize