Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
