All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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