I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
